Love Isn’t Kind When It’s Blind

Love is Blind season 2 wrapped up and of course as for the 1st season, I had to write about the evolution of these couples too.

In this season new personalities and problems surface. Some more some less relatable, but still very down to earth people, in search for long-lasting love.

The participants of this experiment don’t see each other before they can propose and then move on into the real life, trying to understand, if they can stay in love with this person they just met.

There is always the question lingering, Is he/she the right one? This question never leaves them, until the day they meet on the altar, only 8 weeks later.

What do you think about the couples and their stories?

Some stories are very intertwined, since they have been dating each other in the pods: especially the triangle Shane, Natalie and Shaina, and also Jarette, Iyana and Mallory.

What happened there? Both love triangles are quite different:

Jarrette was chatting with Iyanna and Mallory. He felt strongly for both of them, but in last days he felt more inclined to marry Mallory.

What exactly make him choose her? I think it was more their preferences in sport and the fact that she is settled professionally, has her own home and stable job. On the other hand Iyanna is doing her masters and still figuring out were she wants to be professionally. So since Jarrette also already is a home owner and wants to pursue more ventures, maybe he wants someone more settled. These were the talks that stood out to me personally. Let me know if you noticed something different.

At the time Mallory is also talking with Sal in the pods. They make a strong connection, both Latino heritage, with similar values, she enjoys listening to the songs he plays for her. When Jarrette asks her if she wants to marry him, she can’t because she likes Sal more. Both, her and Jarrette are emotionally devastated after this break up. They both cry in their rooms, it seems a big loss for both of them.

Iyanna knows she wants Jarrette, it is only him on her dating list sofar. So she is also devastated when he comes back to her, telling her about Mallory and that he was about to propose to her, but Mallory refused. What shall Iyanna do? They are still only in the pods. For her it is hard to be seen and felling like a second choice. I mean, don’t we all! She needs him to prove himself. Will he be able to do so?

The other triangle is Shayne Natalie and Shaina, with Shayne as the love interest for both Shaina and Natalie.

For Natalie it was only Shayne since the start. Shaina was dating Shayne and Kyle. The dynamic between Shayne and Shaina was very superficial and easygoing, fun conversations. They had a bond, but Shayne did not know where he stands with Shaina. So he is very drawn to Natalie, who is sure about him. It seems as if he is drawn to the stability, down to earthiness she brings with her.

Natalie shows openly her interest only for Shayne and this gives him security and happiness. On the other side, Shaina is interested also in Kyle and takes her conversations on very light and superficial. When she notices Shayne is also into Natalie, her instincts are to protect her relationship with Shayne, so she tries to get him back. But by then it is already too late. Shayne has been so focused on Natalie, he is about to propose to her.

What a mess right? So Shayne goes into the pods to propose to Natalie, but Shaina is there confessing her feelings, right after she accepted the proposal from Kyle. I mean, why do you accept a proposal and then you want to rekindle the romance between you and someone else?

Kyle bonds with Shaina deeply. Believing she is the one. She understands his work, his life and his future and he feels like he can talk about anything with Shaina. The problem for Shaina is: she is a practicing christian and Kyle is atheist. Fact she will never be able to look past.

I don’t fully understand why this is so extremely important to her. Everyone has other wishes and preferences. I think, is this really important if you are in love with someone? Why can’t she accept his atheist believe? Could you imagine refusing someone because of his believes when you are in love?

Being in love is very irrational, but getting married should be a quite rational decision. I still strongly believe that love is blind, in a way that if you fall hard for someone you will overlook many red flags, because of this overwhelming emotion towards them. Such as looking past an important issue like this.

We often make this error of judgment when we go into relationship, ignoring hard facts. I actually respect everyone that can stand up for their values and leave someone in spite of love. Because this would cause a great heart break and suffering, but it might be the best long term choice for both individuals, who would have suffered because of fundamental differences.

That said, Shaina does not seem to care about Kyle, because she openly makes moves to Shayne even after her engagement. That is not fair to Kyle. So I believe she never felt love for him, otherwise she would have married him. That her believes are so important for her I understand, but was this the only reason?

Shaina also seems quite shocked when Kyle proposes. He planned this romantic proposal with the ring of his mother, because his mother was also very religious and he assures her that the relationship is possible and can work, even if they have this fundamental difference.

Shaina, why did you say yes? We see how unwell you are feeling in Mexico. That is also why she left already the next day, after sleeping in separate room! At this point she is willing to give up on her relationship with Kyle.

Also to Kyle, why did you go and see her after she left you in Mexico? Wasn’t it clear enough that she did not want to stay?

Kyle seems so in love with Shaina, he tries to salvage the engagement. In vain, since she is still thinking about Shayne and is not falling in love with him. I still don’t understand why, but they even give it another try. Shaina goes on with the experiment and introduces him to her parents.

Shaina’s mother is not convinced and is not giving her blessing. She brings the religious difference up and doesn’t think Kyle is a good fit. The observant mother also mentions that the body chemistry doesn’t seem to quite fit. How could she see that? She knows her daughter that well.

This is an important issue also for the next couple, that is getting engaged. Deepti and Shake, both Indian heritage and openly into blonde white counterparts, they both never dated another significant other from the same background and feel very attuned when they talk about their life experiences. They notice so many similarities, that even the most awkward comments of Shake do not dissuade Deepti from saying yes to his proposal.

Last year we had a couple that was convinced and chose each other from the get go. Do you think these couples are the most committed?

Nick and Danielle, are very intimate since the beginning and really know they are the only ones for each other. The proposal comes to no surprise. They are so into each other, it is very cute. In Mexico Danielle gets sick, so she stays in the hotel, meanwhiles Nick goes to meet all the other participants with their significant other, but Kyle and Shaina are missing.

So he meets:

Iyanna and Jarrette, Deepti and Shake, Mallory and Sal, Natalie and Shayne

This moment is heated and fuelled with alcohol. So no wonder that the couples that were dating before in the pods, and never had a chance to talk yet, now spill the beans.

Mallory and Jarrette ignore each other for the most time in the evening, but then drunkenly start talking and it is pure entertainment. That is why we watch this show, right? To see some drama and tension.

Here it was, Jarrette telling Mallory how Sal bought her the wrong ring, she likes gold, this one is silver. She then also makes a weird face when he asks if she is ready to marry. Mallory even calls him Jarr Bear, a sweet nickname she gave him in the pods.

Iyanna is nearby and follows with her eyes the conversation. She can’t hear what is talked, but I think Sal hears a bit from his position and he is really sad and upset.

I really don’t know how to judge it, I mean they were all drunk, and at the end of the day facts are more important then words, so even if they had a chat, this is the only moment they slip up and end up talking like this in front of the cameras. Plus, they never end up pursuing their relationship, what was in the pods seems to remain there. They have common interests, but they seem loyal to their significant partners.

What do you think about the this triangle?

Danielle and Nick seemed so solid, nearly too good to be true. They found each other attractive, had love in their eyes, a reciprocal strong interest on both sides. Then Nick leaves Danielle for one evening to go to the event to meet the other participants who got engaged and represent them as a couple, and she goes full spiral. To some degree I understand spiralling in our thoughts and not getting away from them, especially when alone and sick, often the worst scenarios come to our mind.

In this case Nick was loyal at this evening. He actually created some drama between the other participants, by asking questions to Jarrette about him and Mallory and if he thinks Mallory is beautiful. He encouraged Jarrette to go talk to Mallory. Who knows if Jarrette otherwise would have talked to Mallory that evening. Nick seems friends with everyone and talks only very highly about his significant other.

When he comes back, Danielle has been outliving all her worse fears in her head, and seeing the others from her hotel balcony was not helping her. They quickly loose each other in the conversation, because she is lashing out at him and he does not understand why, nor knows how to appease her. Eventually they talk and she processed and acknowledged her behaviour. Do you think it was her fear talking?

Further in the show, when they live together they have to overcome this issue. It is not easy to overcome a fear of trust. It needs continue effort and thought. He can help her, but it is definitely a personal growth on her side.

Jealousy is a fear, and it comes at waves, in an irrational way. Everyone experiences it to some extent, it creates unreal scenarios in our minds and clouds our judgment. We can understand to live with it, if we understand the its tricky nature.

Honestly, Love is not totally Blind, we see how people have a whole life that has to fit and be integrated after the pods. That is the most difficult part. Everyday we struggle with the reality of life, job, house, debts, lifestyle. All this is important to function. As I said before marriage is when the rational self has to figure out if the other person is the right one. Do we choose rationally? Well, we should. Cause it is a decision for a lifetime.

Which qualities should someone possess before getting married?

Having empathy is the most important,
we have to teach ourselves to feel into each other on a deeper level. This helps with understanding the new life partner, family, and your own needs. Empathy works both ways, to know yourself and others.

Consequently learning how to communicate effectively and politely also in stress situations.

Learn how love languages work and how you might express love differently then your partner.

How practical cooperation works, like having a household together and the duties that come with it, like bills, future plans and stability.

Who does not marry and why:

Well, well, what to say about Shake, he is unique and very outspoken, to the damage of feelings and other peoples wellbeing. Telling all of the guys he was not physically attracted to Deepti, was honest, yet hurtful.

He had the need to tell everyone and I understand when he tells his mom. I mean it is beautiful when you can talk openly to your mom about your feelings and she is such a lovely women. She gives him the best advice. Still he should not have mentioned to the others, and joke about it. Why did he continue with show? Even if he did not feel that way with Deepti? For him she was more like a family member, like a aunt, not a future wife.

Deepti makes the best choice for herself, and is a happier woman because of it. She feels that Shake is not 100% in and she leaves him at the altar. Honestly, good they did not get married and she would see the show later and hear all the inappropriate talk he has with other people.

Who also says no at the altar and surprises us all is Natalie. She had a big fight with Shayne the night before, and he said such hurtful things, she can’t look past that. Was it only because of this fight?

She emphasises on it also during the reunion later at the ending of the show. I don’t know if one fight can really ruin everything. Often we fight and we adjust and we grow a relationship. The timing here was really not right. If they could have some more days to talk, maybe they could have solved the issue and apologies could have made it better. Often also the groom gets stressed before a wedding. Saying hurtful things is never right, but the reality is, we are not perfect and if you say something wrong you should be able to apologise and grow from it.

Natalie stands up for herself and I really appreciate that. Marriage should be a long term engagement, and if in stress situations you flip on each other, you will have many unhealthy fights. So yes, better to fix these problems before marriage, otherwise they will haunt the relationship.

With Sal and Mallory I was surprised when it was Sal refusing her, because he seemed the most sweet and agreeable guy. He is also a private guy, a bit difficult to read, he had good intention with Mallory but in real life their relationship did not survive the test and the trials they had. They seemed both at peace with this, also Mallory did not seem too devastated from the refusal. I could never really understand what Mallory is really feeling. These two were both very composed and private people, not easy to understand their motives.

Nick and Danielle get married and give everyone that happy ending we were waiting for. As did Iyanna and Jarrette who overcame their issues and wanted to be husband and wife.

Which one is your favourite couple?

Did you enjoy season 2 as much as season 1?

Then you can check my article about season 1:

Netflix Love is Blind, Crazy, Drammatic or Romantic?

Let me know if you’d like an article about your favourite couple, certain scenes or any another development of the show.

See you in the comments!