The ultimate messiest couples in one show, the ultimatum

This ultimatum reality series was so messy, what the hell happens when you issue an ultimatum?

Does it make sense to ask your longterm partner to Marry or move on? Does it unite the couple really or is it only a pressuring method with no benefits, rather destroying a relationship?

What do you think about the whole scenario?

For me the most confusing is the fact that the one who is issuing the ultimatum, will also look at their significant partner dating others, and they themselves will date in a tight dating group.

At the beginning I thought they would be introduced to more people. But this is not the case. They will date who either issued or who was given the ultimatum and there are only 6 other couples.

Can a person who wants to get married, convince someone who doesn’t want to get married? How?

Seeing their loved one, who they have a long term relationship with, date others, is really strange. For them and for us viewers it is quite confusing, right? Strange, that they have to choose between a certain number of couples. Maybe to ramp up the drama between the couples?

Who is the messiest of them all? The concept already creates friction, as will the events of this reality series. Did you watch it already?

Besides dating the other couples in front of each other, we also see them all on a dining table choosing the person they would like to live with in the show for the next 3 weeks. They will get a separate apartment and will be followed by the producing crew. These apartment are all the same apartment complex.

Jealousy is a main component of the show. Two couples end up engaged during this dining table evening, because the fear of seeing their significant other experiencing life together with someone else, is too much to bear.

When the dating session of the show stopped and the decisions have to be made, there were only a two couples who really hit it off and were interested in moving on with the experiment.

The two male that issued the ultimatum are Colby and Nate, the rest of the couples were mainly young females, issuing ultimatum to their long term partners, relationships of 1 or 2 years. They rarely were together longer then that.

The women who want to get married all think they are ready for marriage and this great commitment. Some have lived together with their significant other, others have not. This experiment will bring them to the ultimate test. Most will not be able to overcome this strange test of emotions and break ups.

Which test do you think was the hardest?

Each couple has their own trials and but the worst is seeing the significant other with someone else. That is an extreme emotion, difficult to hide or adjust to. It most be so hard to do so. Especially when you are sure about your partner, but it ends up to be quite different. His loyalty has to be proven, but the experiment seems to encourage getting to know someone else? Why? What is the right way to got through this experiment? To stay loyal or complete emerge in it by getting close to other people?

There are very different couple scenarios, each of them have their own journey.
2 of them got engaged at the decision dinner, the other 4 will move on with the experiment living with someone else.

Sweetest engagement between Hunter and Alexis, after her speech of how she does not want anyone else besides Hunter and him standing up going to her and proposing.

Lets unpack that, April choses Hunter, not because she is in love or attracted, but because he is so calm and will help her stay grounded during this period, while her love interest, Jake, will live with someone else he connected to, Rae. At this point we see that hurt Alexis stands up and tells it all, how she feels very awful thinking about having Hunter living with anyone else. Plus she herself hasn’t connected with no one on the show.

Alexis also stands out because of her high standards, wanting a man who is financially stable and can handle and hold his own with her.

Finances are important for marriage and should be a topic in someones future. Many people get scared and don’t want to think about it. Some may argue that love should be above all else.

Honestly, yes it should be, but you can never be sure what the future withholds, having some reserves, prospects and plans financially can help on a rainy day. Said that, a rainy day can come along without you noticing, no-one is perfect and many things happen, it can be out of our hand. We can’t control the weather, right?

For Alexis and Hunter there is a happy ending already early into the show. For Nate and Lauren, who also get engaged that evening, it was as suprising as Alexis and Hunters engagement, although it seemed more desperate then theirs.

Nate got so flustered when no one wanted to be with him, that he could not stand the fact that Lauren made a connection with another and this other, Colby, was about to ask her to be her companion for the next 3 weeks.

At that point Nate stands up and asks Lauren, even before she can answer or anything happens, to marry her. She seems really happy and says yes. His argument is that he loves her so much, that he does not care about children anymore. That is surely not true. Right? That is why everyone is so shocked, how can he give up on the life dream of being a father? What do you think, can that happen? Will he regret it later?

Lauren seems to be willing to have a kid someday, but she wants to share that with someone who has time for her and the child. Many people would suggest that it is ok when one of the parents works very hard, and the other stays home with the kids. However, she does not want to give up her whole life and time only for the kids. Nate wants to be the provider, which a lot of women would like, but Lauren has a different view of her future and he as her partner should respect that. We often don’t fall in love with who fits perfectly, we have to try to make them fit, with an every day commitment, right?

At the reunion, after the show ended, Nate and Lauren explain how they sought out professional therapy and advice, instead of continuing with the show. I really understand her. If the show does not benefit you, because it is more for entertainment purpose then focusing on your personal problems, without the help of professionals, why should you continue? If it does not help your progress in the relationship. What about you? Would you have continued the show and said no to Nate?

I think Lauren did not hear that he said to Madlyn, “I will choose you” while sitting on the table, and Madlyn had already chosen Randall and was really weirded out by his request.

Did you ever issue an ultimatum and did it work?

Surely you do not go live with someone else after an ultimatum, right? This would be really strange and confusing. Isn’t that called a rebound then? This show is so confusing. An Ultimatum is a complex moment in your life, but added the factor of dating someone else immediately after, makes this show quite far away from reality of the situation. What do you think?

It surely entertaining for who is watching, but it does not bring the couples who have been issuing the ultimatum closer. It actually shatters their reality.

In fact none of the couples, who chose someone else, get engaged with that someone else. Honestly, they go through a rollercoaster and I am not sure that really benefited the future outcome of the relationships. Or were they already doomed before coming to the show?

This is one of the arguments of the host of the show, Nick and Vanessa Lachey. If you issue the ultimatum it should bring a strong couple closer together and who is not destined for you will be lost on the way. Is this a good argument for the show? What do you think?

Who is issuing the ultimatum is deeply in love with the idea of getting married. Why doesn’t the other person want to marry? Often they aren’t ready for this life time commitment and that is fair. Does the other person not love them enough? I don’t think that is a factor. Timing is mainly the factor, or differences in future expectation and life choices.

Not every partner fits in the life as we wish they would. Someone might be an exciting thought and option. Talking about option is so terrible, but we see how the limited option in the show is a factor in the evolution of the couples. If they had a world of option, would they still be with the same person?

Randall and Shanique seemed a very solid couple, but the fact they did not yet live together and that Randall was always so composed and tried to not show his emotions on the show. I did not know how to read them as a couple. He is quite infatuated by Madlyn, with whom he ended up living together and even sleeping in the same bed. It seems though he never acted on it. Only one kiss after she complained about him not showing affection.

Madlyn was dating Colby before the show and gets all excited when meeting and connecting with Randall. They were both on the same page, how they both do not feel ready for marriage.

Shanique goes to live with Zay, she and he connected and I suspect she is more attracted to him physically then she is to Nate, who actually asked her to be with him first. Shanique stands up and chooses Zay then. What a burn for Nate!

Zay accepts and they will go on this journey together. Both of them connecting with the fact that they really love the person they came with and actually are really sour by the fact that the other person, Randall and Rae, are really hitting it off with the other person, Madlyn and Jake.

Which was the couple that shocked you the most?

Many arguments came up referencing situation that happened off camera. I mean they know when cameras are there and most of the dirt seems to have stayed off camera. But that means that these situations are even messier then we thought, right? Because already on camera we follow many arguments and sticky situations.

Rae issued the Ultimatum to Zay, but ended up feeling very deeply for Jake, who was issued the Ultimatum to by April. This couple dynamic had many ups and downs. Neither Zay nor Jake want to get married. When Rae and Jake started talking they had much in common, so they are really hitting it off. Their background is the same, African American and Italian, their taste in music is the same.

April really got her heartbroken, because she was sure Jake would not find anyone else and eventually choose to marry her. Maybe some of them were sure of that. But this is not the case. When you let someone go, they can potentially meet someone who is similar to them, or who in that moment intrigues them more and fits more in their life. So be careful at letting good people go! Did you ever regret letting someone go?

The chemistry between Jake and Rae was undeniable, seeing it unfolding on the screen. Jake says he was dragged by April here to the experience, but then fully emerges with Rae, which is a shock to April. So a lot of drama arises. It is really sad to see how April hopes and dreams shattered by this show.

The ultimatum is not for the faint hearted. This rollercoaster of emotions are not easy and living them on camera is even more difficult.

Living together with the other person will be a mess, also because they have only one bedroom. I mean they have to sleep in the same room. Why? In my opinion this is quite unacceptable, you just met this person you don’t know their sleeping habits. This could be potential risk of sleep depravation and feeling uncomfortable for the duration of the experiment.

No one talked about this in the show, maybe they were lucky and did not feel discomfort. They all seem ok by sleeping in one bed. It is not uncommon for couples to not sleep in the same bed and still love each other deeply. Not everyone cuddles or wants to cuddle after only meeting yesterday. From experience if you have chemistry you feel really attracted initially, but living together too soon can maybe ruin all the magic. Maybe that was why? What do you think?

Maybe that is what they are coming from for the show. Making them see the true colours by living and experiencing everything together.

Most of them have of course also a day job, so they are living in this new place, with this new person, while having to pursue daily life, as if nothing happened. This must be so hard. Especially when you are heart broken.

Which was the episode or personal story that moved you or shocked you the most?

After the period with the stranger, they will live together with the person they came with. Which will be a disaster for most of the couples, having connected deeply with the stranger it fuels all kind of emotions, everyone different! April and Colby lived together, but only because they were the last ones without someone to be with and by default they ended up together. With no real emotional connection, their thoughts go always back to their loved one, Madlyn and Jake.

When April and Jake live again together they fight a lot about jealousy and the fact that they are so different. Jake and Rae are so similar, it seems so easy to be with her. On the other hand April is a philippine firecracker, as mother of Jake calls her. Not having a calm nature, Jake withholds from her. In the end he tells April in his final decision that he does not want to marry her and tells Rae that he would love to travel with her around the world.

The reunion will reveal that the reality is quite different. April and Jake actually still live together after the show and have to sort out their lives and actually give it another try.

Would you have done that? After rejection going back to their normal daily lives?

The same for Rae, she and Zay broke up, because they have deep routed communication problems. Plus one night after an argument he left her for the whole night without telling her where he is and when he will be back. This is not acceptable for her and she leaves him. Hoping of course she will be with Jake. Well, after the show Rae and Zay continued seeing each other on and off. Rae never goes on a trip with Jake. Why? Did you understand why they never did?

Randall and Shanique end up deciding for each other, and Randall proposing to her. Until now, date of the article, they are not married and actually ended their relationship after the show, rekindled it later and have a lot of love for each other. Unfortunatley, it remained an on and off situation.

The most surprising is the on screen marriage of Madlyn and Colby. He definitely got his happy ending. His love for Madlyn is really deep. Although they went through many up and downs, Madlyn loves the attention she gets from Colby and notices while living with Randall that this is not always the case. That she is lucky to have someone so devoted to her. What she does not like in Colby is the fact he is not good at taking responsibility for his action, and this causes repeated argument.

Well, now Colby really has to take responsibility for his actions, because he is becoming a father. Madlyn arrives on the show very pregnant, she seems at least 7 months.

Do you think they solved their issued with the arrival of the child and the greatest commitment, which is marriage, or will they resurface once the routine takes place again in their lives?

Could it be Randalls?, was a question in the reunion! Well, for what we saw on the show he did not have sexual intercourse with her, Colby did. And we also see Zay and Shanique getting all dirty under the covers.

Randall forgives Shanique for her moment of weakness, because she is honest with him. Their communication problems are very pronounced, they say they overcame it.

Do you believe them?

What do you think, can major communication problems be solved? And how? I would love to understand this better.

Let me know in the comments.